pattid's Cancer Blog
September 9, 2009
Well, I had a meeting and exam with the oncologist yesterday. There are some interesting developments but nobody is really sure what to make of them. The lump in my neck (lymph node) is decreasing considerably in size—without any treatment. Hmmmm…..
The lymphedema swelling in my legs has gone down. Hmmmm….
Now, on exam of my cervix the doc thinks that the original tumor that they thought they got all of, is growing again. Not by much, but seemed to be bigger. Not good news really.
SO we are still at the same plan, wait till October, do another scan and the probably start some chemo to see what that does.
I think my body is trying to heal itself, it just may need a little help. The doc gave me a good prescription for some pain medicine for my lower back and that has helped me cheer up a bit. You all know that chronic back pain will turn you into a bear!
My son enjoys my being a little loopy with the pain meds at times. I was trying to tell him to put the groceries in the trunk so we could go home from the store, and I kept telling him to put the clothes in the dryer. I think he thought he might have to “check Mom in” somewhere. It was funny, but I do need to be careful when I drive.
I will keep you all updated and am reading all your blogs. You are all in my prayers!
Patti
Update on my meeting with the Oncologist., 
17 comments)
August 18, 2009
Well, I just had one of those doctor’s appointments where you leave and just can’t be sure if you really heard what you heard or if you are taking things the wrong way…
Well, I told you that last week they decided not to do radiation. So I met with my regular Oncologist today thinking that we would get started on a chemo plan, but that isn’t what happened. He basically told me that there are no studies to indicate more chemo will prolong my life, and no real studies to show that it wouldn’t. He said because I am not having any symptoms now, and that the spots in my lymph nodes aren’t really growing-that he thinks I should wait a couple of months and do another scan and maybe start chemo in October. The decision is all mine, he says.
Well, it sort of feels like giving up even though he says we aren’t. I am in a sort of fog. I am not sure what to do.
I think I am going to take a few days to think about it and then make a decision. He did say that at any time I change my mind and want to start chemo right away, all I have to do is call.
I am relieved on one hand not to have to start right in on chemo, but depressed because I feel like nothing I do is going to make a difference anyway. The only real problems I have now are some swelling in my legs which causes my back to hurt, but that is all relieved with ibuprofen. So I could use this time to get my strength up and take some vacation time etc to enjoy what I can.
I guess in any battle there are periods of time when you wait and watch your opponent, but I am not used to that.
What do you all think?
Patti
Patti, My heart and prayers for strength and clarity go out to you…
just a few quotes to get you through – “Whatever the struggle, continue the climb. It may be only one step to the summit.” ~ Diane Westlake
“You are the embodiment of the information you choose to accept and act upon. To change your circumstances you need to change your thinking and subsequent actions.” ~ Adlair Sinclair
“Thus, what is of supreme importance in war is to attack the enemy’s strategy.” ~ Sun Tzu
St. Francis of Assisi:
Start by doing what’s necessary;
then do what’s possible;
and suddenly you are doing the impossible.
Posted on It really must feel good to have the doctor say, “I don’t know, what do you feel like doing?” What a hard decision for you to make! I think it is nice during the course of treatments to have a short break, where your body can just sort of be “normal”. And if that wait starts to feel scary to you, you have the option of starting chemo right away. Take a vacation!
Posted on I would take a rest, go herbal/veggie for awhile and picture Diane’s little fairies and elves in side myself with their dust pans and brooms cleaning up the lymph nodes.
Posted on Patti, I would take this time to get another opinion from another oncon. Call the ACS and get phone no’s. or other info. on who can help you with what you are dealing with or ask them who can help you. Enjoy each day, but take time out to look for different options.
The wait and see approach is one option, but why wait? Go get another opinion.
I just wish my gynocologist would’ve told me it was time for a hysterectomy because he felt I was high risk for cancer. I would’ve jumped on it, knowing that all of this could’ve been prevented. Don’t put off tomorrow what can be done today. Like my mom always told me as a child, “Wait(weight)is what broke the wagon down!”
Prayers, Amy
Patti—
I know you feel like you are at the fork in the road without a roadmap. I pray that God will provide the answer for you, along with the strength to cope with what lies ahead. You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.
Martha
Posted on I wonder if he would have given the same advice if it was his wife needing treatment. I often wonder this….hum.
Well I pray that what ever you decide it leaves you with peace knowing you are doing what is best for you.
In my prayers.
Posted on If it were ME…I would go STRAIGHT for the chemo treatments! I wouldn’t give this flippin’ beast even a SLIGHT chance to attack my body again!
I agree….”what if it where HIS wife or daughter?”
To me.it sounds like he is basically throwing in the towel…...HOW DARE HE!
Do what you have to do Patti to see your boy grow up…...
I have read on various sites where women have actually beaten late stage CC and are living to tell their stories…BE ONE OF THEM!
Once it hits the lymph nodes it does progress patti. Once it hits the paraortic nodes..well—-let’s not let THAT happen! Schedule your battle sister! YESTERDAY! FIGHT!
Posted on I’d go for looking for a second opinion. He’s not the only guy in town and honestly…I wouldn’t like a doctor that thinks the way he does.
I pretty much got the same story from my gyn/onc in June and hightailed it back to MD Anderson where at least the doctors are positive. I just think attitude is half the battle and I need to surrounded by positive people. So look at a third alternative….a new doctor. It will be worth it. Our goal as mothers is to be here for as long as possible. Be it months, weeks or years. I just can’t wait and see either…not like me.
If you want to talk please feel free to e-mail me at tmay3@austin.rr.com. We are pretty close on this road and have similar family situations.
I’ll be praying for you.
Teresa
Posted on Thanks for all the advice everyone. It is all so much more important to me since you have all been in similar situations. I am going to take a few days and think about it, talk to the oncologist again and ask some more questions and then make a decision. I am not ready to throw in the towel and I need to make sure that’s not what he’s suggesting.
Posted on Hey Patti,
My heart goes out to you at this time when the floor has seemed to drop from beneath your feet. I can only imagine how difficult this is for you and can only offer support from my perspective, and my perspective is this:
Get yourself another doctor and get to fighting.
Just because one medical professional has thrown in the towel does not mean you have to as well. Prepare for battle. Jump on that chemo. Do everything in your power to give your body the chance.
Fight!
Be strong and brave.
Jill
Posted on Patti,
We all have different stories & problems, but we all agree on ONE thing. WE NEVER GIVE UP! Like Martha said ,when we find ourselves at a fork in the road, get a map. Hey girlfriend, what you really need is a GPS & follow every road until you have covered the globe, if need be. Read what Tmay is doing. Read what Larry is doing. Follow what Donna R. did & is still doing. For some on this blog, Chemo & radiation works & others go out on their own & many find the cure just for themselves. Think of our bodies as one big fingerprint, which they are. Everyone is different, so why would the treatments all be the same for each of us??? God gave you a DR. that isn’t “in the know”. Then, God gave you time to find out what is the right path for you to take. Ask questions, read, study, then read some more. Take the time, but not too long. Then take action. Fight AND WIN!
Sandy
Posted on Dear Patti,
I want you to get another opinion. I know it sweems good to possibly take a few months off, but I don’t think everyone in the oncology community would agree with doing nothing for a few months. I would want to hear that from more than just my one doctor. If you have the fight in you to keep going now, then I would call another facility nearby if needed, and get on their schedule for a second opinion right away. Maybe this is the best option, but maybe there are others that you haven’t heard yet.
I will think of you and pray for you to get through this and feel peace with your decision.
Erin
Posted on 
Thanks for your support - 
Patti—
You are in my prayers too! I hope your body is ridding itself of the cancer, but like you say, may need a little help. I really hope that comes to you in whatever form needed to finally get rid of this beast. Take care and thank you for updating us. You will remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs—
Martha
It’s so funny that you mention the “clothes in the dryer;” I’m on some pain meds right now, too. Yesterday, my husband was leaving in the morning for work, and I couldn’t get the right goodbye out! I said something like, “Goodnight, I mean, have a good night… no…” Feels silly, doesn’t it? Glad the meds are taking the edge off for you.
The really funny one is that my Oncologist’s name is Eisenhauer but I slip up and call him Einstein. Too much sarcasm with that and it gets to be crazy, “who’s your oncologist? EINSTEIN??”
Interesting/confusing findings on your neck. Makes one wonder if it’s just a lymph node doing what it’s suposed to be doing huh? Is there a way for them to biopsy this? I know that would be peace of mind for you.
Love the “can’t find the right word” story. I attribute much of mine to chemo brain. Do it all the time and get frustrated when my daughter doesn’t know what I mean when I mis speak. The dishwasher, not the wash machine? The thing in the back of the car…you know trunk. Ha!
Anyway, let us know how things go. Think of you often.
Teresa
Your son sounds like a cutie! Love the new hair do!
Hello Patti,
Thanks for the update. I think it does sound like your body is trying to heal itself. You have had so many up and downs that I really hope and pray you get good news in October when you start chemo again. You remain in my thoughts and prayers daily.
Patti,
I love the story of you & your son at the store! My kids have thought I have been loopy for years, woops, that was wayyyy before chemo or meds???
As for your exam, it sounds good & maybe??? Don’t you just hate that maybe! Take lots of vit. “C” till Oct & your next scan.
It might help your own body to do it’s thing….
Let us know how it goes.
Hugs,
Sandy
Dear Patti,
It sounds like your body is strong and fighting off this horrible beast.
You have a remarkable attitude and great sense of humor.
I will keep you in my prayers every night, Amy
Patti,
Forgot to tell you, love the hair!
Amy
Thinking about you and your boy on a daily basis. Keep the faith sista as there is HOPE out there… You are a warrior and will overcome this beast called CANCER!
Love your sense of humor!
Don’t you just love it when your body kicks in and does the work for the doctors – it leaves them scratching their heads…I love the new hair!
Keep fighting and I’ll keep praying for you.
Hi Patti,
It’s been so long since you’ve posted anything…I hope everything is alright with you.
Please let me know….
Love and Hugs,
Sherry
Hi Patti I do not know you but you have a lot of people looking for you. We all hope that you are ok! Please check in! We wish you a Happy Thanksgiving!
Haven’t seen any updates lately. I hope you are doing well and had a nice Christmas with your family. Please update when you feel up to it.
Just wanted to check in and send you some caring, healing energy. Stay strong. Frank